


Taste of Metal

by Imparlamon



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life, Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom, Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Black Mesa Sweet Voice, Canon-Typical Violence, Computer Programming, Gordon is the only human in this, Half-Life VR But the AI is Self-Aware, Kaiju (Pacific Rim), Metalhead Gordon AU, Not Beta Read, Now we're here, Panic Attacks, Post-Game(s), Post-Kaiju War, Sensory Overload, Sunkist is the most perfect dog, Video & Computer Games, Video Game Mechanics, it all started with some silly "what if Gordon listens to Metal" posts on my tumblr, mention of cut-off arm & talk about open wound, more tags will be added in the future as the story progresses!, we die like gummy worms being left in a hot car in the middle of the summer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:55:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26157634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imparlamon/pseuds/Imparlamon
Summary: What if the overwhelming VR experience Gordon went through, had a deeper purpose than just being a simple simulation & a freelance debug job for him?But most importantly- what if Gordon Freeman listens to Metal & used to be in a band?aka. the "Metalhead Gordon AU"DISCONTINUED WORK!I didn't leave it on any cliffhanger, just a casual stop.
Comments: 80
Kudos: 244





	1. Cut the Cable

He had been told during his short briefing that this was supposed to be a simple software test- an easy enough job for him. 

Black Mesa had hired Gordon for some smaller projects before, so he was used to the fact that they were either keeping a good chunk of information from him… or flat-out lying to his face about this job as well. 

He never liked finding out all on his own how huge the issue with a software actually was each time. Still, the company paid him well enough for him to accept every new freelance offer from them.

But this? This… 

Even after all had been done and finished, he couldn’t find a word for the entire mess. 

Staring into the darkness of his deactivated VR set sounded like a good choice for now, as he let his senses slowly return to the real world, dragging his mind along…

Self-Aware Artificial Intelligence. Multiple of them. Experiencing emotions, having thoughts, making choices… it should surprise him, but with Black Mesa’s general shadiness and the “plot” of the simulation he had just experienced, he couldn’t bring himself to. 

He let out a deep sigh, feeling the weight of his clunky VR suit putting way too much pressure on his sore muscles. He truly felt like he walked miles in the HEV suit in the game… and in a way he really had. 

He couldn’t wait to get out of this thing and just-

Suddenly a hot shot of pain went through his entire body, forcing him to curl in on himself, stumbling- he was bracing himself for impact with the floor-

But it never came. Instead, he felt himself getting caught in someone’s arms. He heard a voice, way too muffled for him to understand a word they were saying. No, wait! Two voices?

He blinked away a tear of pain and tried to lift his head in confusion, but his aching body didn’t let him have a break. He curled in further clutching his right arm-

His… right… arm?

Oh no. 

Oh noNONONONONO- the pain suddenly spiked in intensity as Gordon realised what was causing the pain. 

His hand.

His hand was gone. 

“AAARGH- WHAT THE FUCK?! WHERE IS- W-What… ha-”, he tried to stammer out a plea for explanations to whoever was in the room with him, but could barely focus enough as his other senses still struggled to return to him properly.

“It’ll a-all be okay, Mr Freeman-”

“...T-Tommy?”

Gordon tried to spot the man in the darkness of his VR set, but couldn’t see anything.

“Yeah, I-I got you!” 

Gordon felt a nervous but gentle pat on his shoulder. 

Wait-

But before he could even open his mouth for a new question, he felt his VR set getting oh so carefully pulled off his head. 

He hissed at the brightness of the few lights in the room and blinked a few times, letting his tired eyes adjust to the change in brightness as much as possible.

“Thomas. Do bring Mr Freeman to a.... safer location. He already has shouldered so much more than he was expected to.”

Gordon opened his eyes and found himself in Tommy Coolatta’s arms, G-Man standing near the door frame to the hallway, nervously keeping an eye on people running by. 

“Wha- … w-what’s going on.. y-you two are- what about everyone else-”

Tommy tore his worried gaze away from his father and back to the man in his arms. Gordon jumped as he was slightly startled by the set of bright yellow eyes that were now focused entirely on him. 

“A-Always worrying about the others b-before yourself... They’re on their way out as well! A-Are you okay? … c-considering...”- Tommy eyed Gordon’s stump. 

Gordon looked back at it for a moment as well. Weirdly enough the massive wound didn’t seem to be bleeding… but it looked like it had an unnatural surface layer. It had a slightly green hue to it. 

“I… I think I’m going to be sick.”, Gordon managed to mutter.

“W-We’ll fix this! Trust me-”

“I always have.”

If he had been more lucid, Gordon would have questioned the sudden amber glow on Tommy’s face, but right then he just thought that it suited the man.

“O-Oh.”, Tommy stuttered out, “BUT! I have to move you now, Mr Freeman! It might… it might hurt a bit but you’ll be safe at home in a second!”

Gordon furrowed his brows.

“How are you going to get me home that fast-”

Just like that, he was met with instant void-like darkness around him.

But before his brain could slide right into panic mode, he felt the all-too-familiar sensation of his soft bed on the back of his head. He blinked, his surroundings slowly coming back into focus. 

Oh. 

He was staring at his bedroom ceiling with the one persistent spider (he had named it Herbert and they had been living on a shaky peace deal for about 12 weeks now), his massive second-hand wooden closet, the countless posters on his walls- 

He was actually home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Twitter & Tumblr @ NewtAfterDark !
> 
> You can also find a bunch of already existing posts about AU (including short fanfics & art) in the "Metalhead Gordon AU" tag on my blog! :>  
> https://newtafterdark.tumblr.com/tagged/metalhead-gordon-au


	2. Safe Inside Familiar Walls

Gordon couldn’t sleep, as much as his body wanted him to.

The pain was one thing, but the number of unanswered questions was the overwhelming main reason he had curled up in a blanket, staring at nothing with wide eyes like a startled cat. 

Tommy had not moved much after he had teleported them both into Gordon’s apartment, aside from grabbing a water bottle and some painkillers from the kitchen for the shaken scientist.

“D-Do we just wait? I don’t… I don’t know what to do a-about any of this. What even is “this”? What happened? H-How are you even REAL?”, Gordon stammered.

Tommy gave him an apologetic smile from his spot at the end of the bed.

“I just am, Mr Freeman. We all were- uhm- we all are real! I… wanted to tell you during everything. We all did! B-But the code didn’t let us.”

“But you can talk about it now! What changed it?”

Tommy appeared a chunk more nervous at this question but continued anyway-

“You..”

“M-Me??”, Gordon stuttered as he found himself in the focus of Tommy’s vibrant glowing eyes once again.

“We didn’t think someone could alter the code of the simulation like you did, Mr. Freeman... Y-You freed us.”, Tommy said with a warm smile- “I… all of us will do our best to explain everything to you once everyone is here.”

“In my apartment?”  
  
Tommy rubbed the back of his neck nervously.  
“We thought bringing you here would be the safest option for you. It’s a place you know and would feel comfortable in. I-In general but also to talk about everything that happened?”

Gordon nodded slowly.

“I… yeah, I guess that makes sense. And when you say “we”... are you sure everyone will make it out alive without our help?”

“Absolutely!”, Tommy's laugh lines deepened at the edge of his eyes- “I think they are just wrecking the place for fun now! :)”

That left Gordon silent for a few seconds. 

“Oh. W-Well… I…”, Gordon let out a short shaky laugh- “Sorry that I keep you from joining the fun... and that I can’t add support myself-”

Suddenly, Gordon found himself being held once more. Tommy hugged him gently, his chin resting on Gordon’s head.

“A-All of us want you to be safe first, Mr… … Gordon. Fun mayhem comes second! And… a-and I am rather here with you than g-getting overwhelmed with the noise… as fun as destroying a facility might be.”

Gordon chuckled, brushing away a tear he hadn’t noticed falling.  
“Oh… uhm, thanks. For being here and… the foresight and all that. I don’t think we’ll be safe here in the long run though…”

The taller scientist tilted his head at that.  
“Why would you leave your home behind? You don’t have to when anyone who could tell on us has other problems to deal with. Much... much bigger problems at that!”

“What… okay, you actually need to sit my ass down and explain what the fuck is happening. Because... this vague shit? Not helping with my still high-stress levels, my man.”

“Resonance cascade………....2”, was suddenly muttered too closely into Gordon’s left ear, almost making the man yeet himself off the bed-

“OH SHI-”

Gordon stared, almost frozen in place.

“B-BENREY?”

The guard (or former guard now? had he even ever been one, to begin with?) was propping himself up on the bed beside Gordon, his lower body no-clipping through it. Seeing this happen in real life turned out to be way trippier than Gordon could have ever imagined.

Yet aside from that… and the very much scary boss encounter they had had with him in the simulation, Benrey looked relaxed. Comfortable even.

“Yo, Feetm-”

Instantly, Benrey got tackled by Gordon. Aggressively, yes - but not with ill intent. Benrey let out a startled wheeze but soon stared in shock as he was tightly hugged against Gordon’s chest.

“I still have no idea how any of this is happening, but I am so fucking happy to see your annoying ass alive, holy SHIT!”, Gordon laughed, ignoring the pain in his stump as good as he could.

Tommy let out a snort as a few pink sweet voice orbs escaped Benrey.

“uhhhhhhhhhhhh… You too, man? Wasn’t sure if you’d make it on your own… decided that Tommy was the best. He always is, but… ya know. For getting you out. Smarter than all of us combined, ya know?”

Tommy waved Benrey off with a blush but smiled.

“Y-Yeah but all that matters is that everyone’s okay. Do you think the rest of the team will be here soon? I w-want us to tell Gordon what happened. He… he really needs to know. There were enough secrets in Black Mesa. :(”

Gordon slowly let go of Benrey and sat up, returning to cradling his arm. He let out a sigh.

“You can say that again. I… I don’t know how much you all know about my side of things, but the bastards never really told me the most important details on any of the projects they assigned me to. I always had to piece everything together myself… which was frustrating as all hell...”

Now it was Benrey’s turn to let out a huff as he pulled himself on top of the bed and got comfortable laying down with his hands behind his head. Gordon decided to look past the fact that the man was still in full guard get-up, including his helmet and boots. At least he looked surprisingly clean... 

“Yeah, that was, uh… their whole schtick. Always has been.”, Benrey said, scratching his cheek with- … that was an entire third arm he just grew and Gordon decided to look past that even quicker than the full guard-getup.

Suddenly the door to Gordon’s bedroom opened, making Gordon jump and hold tighter onto his aching arm- until he recognized the friendly face of Darnold…and the very large golden retriever that pushed the door further open to let herself in.

Gordon’s tense shoulders relaxed a bit at the sight of both of them. 

“H-Hey...”, stuttered Darnold, giving Gordon a nervous smile and wave- “I just wanted to let you guys know that Sunkist and I checked the area and the apartment. Everything’s clean.”

Sunkist let out a soft woof at the sound of her name and then opted to rest her head on the bed near Gordon. Man, she really was huge. And very much 3D now. Another thing to add to Gordon’s “oh damn I’m starting to feel real overwhelmed by this entire situation”-list.

Tommy pet Sunkist’s head gently and nodded.  
“Thanks, Darnold! And that’s good! We are several miles away from the facility... but it’s better to be extra safe and see if anything is weird here!”

Darnold sat down on the floor beside Tommy.

“I’ll go check again in a few minutes… I don’t trust this supposed freedom just yet.”

Gordon opted to just nod at that. Speech was slowly failing him as his senses dulled slightly from exhaustion. He leaned back against his bed frame. 

He was about to close his eyes as the sound of space being wrapped and time getting bent to his left pulled him right back into high alert-

Dr Coomer and Bubby stepped out through the portal that had formed way too close to the boxes with Gordon’s vinyl record collection, followed by G-Man who closed the portal with a wave of his hand. 

“Hello, Gordon!”, Dr Coomer exclaimed, eyes bright and happy as he spotted the man currently half bundled up in his blanket- “Looks like you made it here with good Tommy’s help without... ehm… further harm.”

Bubby scanned Gordon’s form with his eyes and frowned.

“They actually did it, the bastards. Shouldn’t surprise me, but...”, he motioned at the air without aim, seemingly not being able to put his frustration into words.

Gordon just smiled softly at them, exhausted to all hell and back but so relieved and happy that the entire Science Team had made it.

He also noted that Dr Coomer’s limb enhancements were far more visible in real life than in the low-poly form he had been used to. It was interesting to see and the tech guy in him really wanted to ask the man about the intricacies of how they worked. But… later. That could wait. 

Bubby on the other hand… there was something off about how Bubby looked. Gordon couldn’t quite pinpoint it, but he supposed that Bubby’s lore of having been created artificially must have carried over into his real-life form as well. 

But once again, this was something for Future Gordon to ponder about. 

Present Gordon wanted to know about the general “ok, what the fuck just happened???”, before diving into information that he wasn’t even sure he had the right to know about. 

He noticed G-Man giving his stump a glance as well before the suited man materialized a simple wooden chair for himself and sat down on it. 

Bubby and Coomer opted to join Darnold and Tommy on the floor. 

With everyone finally seated, G-Man opened his briefcase and pulled a very heavy-looking folder out of it. Its casing reminded Gordon of the pattern and colour of a missing texture error.

“I am… certain you have a lot of questions, Mr Freeman.”

Gordon closed his eyes, inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. He opened his eyes again, looking at everyone in the room over once more before nodding. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Twitter & Tumblr @ NewtAfterDark !
> 
> You can also find a bunch of already existing posts about AU (including short fanfics & art) in the "Metalhead Gordon AU" tag on my blog! :>  
> https://newtafterdark.tumblr.com/tagged/metalhead-gordon-au


	3. The Basic Facts

G-Man opened the folder, slowly skimming through it with a serious look on his face.

“Mr Freeman… Before we get into the details of the events of the past few days, I would like to apologize… to you... for the circumstances you found yourself in. We didn’t calculate for… every possible alteration to the code that you could and would make. And the consequences of said changes.”

Gordon just nodded at that, pulling his blanket tighter around himself. 

G-Man returned the nod, then returned to look back to the contents of the folder.

“Black Mesa had tasked you with... debugging the code of an... emergency simulation, is that correct?”

“Pretty much, yeah. That’s all they told me.”

G-Man shook his head, letting out a sigh.

“Expected. But frustrating nonetheless.”

He closed the folder, setting it aside along with his suitcase. 

“This… “emergency simulation” had a different purpose for existing… than simple employee training. But… I am certain you’re already starting to put that together, Mr Freeman.”

Tommy sat up straighter, wringing his hands nervously. 

“It was a c-containment procedure! Think of it as an… uhm… it was a lock to a door… but it was purposefully made to not look like a lock!”

Gordon stared at Tommy for a moment, creating a heavy silence in the room.

“I actually… understand that. W-What were they keeping locked up thou-”

And then it hit Gordon. His gaze wandered over everyone in the room. 

Coomer nodded at Gordon’s realization, looking like a proud parent.

Bubby rolled his eyes and had crossed his arms, but nodded as well. 

“Bingo-Bongo, Gordo.”, Benrey commented, earning a snort from the man. 

“I… I shouldn’t be surprised… but… how can a bunch of High intelligence AI suddenly break out into the real world- with real bodies mind you!- just because I tinkered with the code of the lock to their “cage”?”, Gordon asked.

Bubby let out a short laugh-

“You really think all of us are AI?”

“Well, I am!”, exclaimed Coomer proudly. 

G-Man decided to interject-

“Mr Freeman, would you be surprised to know that Black Mesa contained a number of non-human beings within their facility?”

Gordon blinked.

“... no. I would not be surprised one bit, actually.”

He looked down, thinking to himself for a moment.  
  
“So… the simulation was the lock to your… containment areas?”

“Precisely! The simulation was created to keep a safe distance between us and the Black Mesa researchers. We weren’t aware that we had been… well...”

“Dimensionally displaced.”, G-Man added- “Most… subjects were held physically in high-security areas while their subconscious was awake in the simulation… unaware of their predicament.”

“Took us a while to become aware of it. Some longer than others, admittedly.”, Bubby muttered.

Darnold shifted slightly on his spot on the floor-

“Most of us agreed that we had to do something to get out. A bunch of us started altering the code in the best of our abilities, others tried to communicate with the researchers that we were now very much aware of when they logged in.”

“Didn’t listen. Ignored us and then reset our progress- every. fuckin’. time. but didn’t mean we stopped! Then you logged in and we were like “OH SHIT! Not one of the nerds! Help? Yes? Please and thank you?” which was epic.”, Benrey added while he was playing with one end of Gordon’s blanket.

“Y-You didn’t just reset the simulation, like anyone else. You kept it running! You talked to us! … and we knew that if we could go through the simulation with you until the end and wreck the code along the way… that you could help us get out! And you did!”, Tommy helpfully explained, bouncing slightly with excitement as he was sitting cross-legged on the floor.

  
  


Wow. Okay. 

Gordon ran a hand through his hair, wincing slightly as a finger caught onto a knot. 

“I… uh… I g-guess I really did do that, huh? Shit… I mean, I am really happy that I could help you guys! But… aren’t we… on a watchlist now or something?”

“Do not… worry about such things, Mr Freeman. I can assure you that you are the least of Black Mesa’s problems right now.”

“I d-don’t know if that is reassuring, my man!”

“What I mean is… that they are currently dealing with… my employers kicking down their metaphorical doors. They are facing the consequences of their actions towards us and… other “subjects” of theirs… and as will I by keeping my eyes on the whole affair. I am… quite done with just watching things… play out.”

G-Man’s gaze fell back to Gordon’s wound.

“Keeping you out of possible further harm is the least I can do… as for your current painful predicament-”

“Oh, don’t you worry about that! I have the perfect solution in mind already!”, Dr Coomer said, standing up and brushing off his lab coat.

Gordon looked a bit unsure at the man’s determined expression.

“Are you sure? I could just go to a hospital, now that I think about it-”

“Nonsense, Gordon! All you need to focus on right now is getting out of that horrid suit and taking a shower. We will take care of the rest.”, Coomer assured him as he reached over and patted Gordon’s shoulder with a heavy hand.

Gordon winced, but managed a smile. 

Alright. All that was now expected from him was taking a simple shower...

He could do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Twitter & Tumblr @ NewtAfterDark !
> 
> You can also find a bunch of already existing posts about AU (including short fanfics & art) in the "Metalhead Gordon AU" tag on my blog! :>  
> https://newtafterdark.tumblr.com/tagged/metalhead-gordon-au


	4. Shower Thoughts

It turned out that taking a shower wasn’t as simple as Gordon had hoped. 

He had mentally compared his VR suit to the HEV suit from the simulation before… but their similarities became even more apparent the longer he struggled in his attempt to unlatch it.

As he found himself almost clawing at its edges in desperation, he let out a frustrated snarl. He needed help with this. 

“Yo Gordon? You gucci?”

Gordon almost stumbled over the edge of his bathtub at the sudden noise. He shot Benrey a glare… from where the entity was half-way clipping through the bathroom door-

“Man, what the fuck… Jesus...”

Benrey gave him an unimpressed look.

“Didn’t answer my question. You good?”

Gordon held his wounded arm close once more, suddenly finding his bath bomb collection way more interesting than the conversation he was forced to have right now.

“C-Could you go get Dr Coomer? And Tommy? I… I need help with this-”, he motioned at his suit, not meeting Benrey’s gaze.

Benrey in the meantime tilted his head at the scene in front of him. 

“Bro, I could help with tha-”

“NO! … I-I mean, thanks, but no.”

If Benrey looked hurt by that, Gordon didn’t see it. His eyes were having a staring contest with one of the novelty rubber ducks on the nearby mirror shelf. 

Gordon almost didn’t notice the door carefully opening a moment later, with Dr Coomer and Tommy carefully stepping into the small bathroom. 

He barely managed to stammer out an apology for what he saw as an inconvenience for them. 

“Nonsense, Gordon! Helping you with this is the least we can do! You helped us so much already- it’s not only fair to repay the favour, but it’s also what friends do! ”, Dr Coomer assured him as he and Tommy got to work. 

They worked in semi-silence, with only the occasional noise of metal getting bent or scraped mixed in with Gordon’s attempt to not just simply have a relief-induced meltdown as he felt the literal weight and pressure on his body slowly and carefully being removed from him.

Tommy was the first to pick up on the shaking and slight jumps Gordon body opted to whenever they had to actually touch Gordon’s body to remove parts of the suit as gently as possible. 

“W-We’re almost done, Gordon. It’s okay if you- if you feel like crying, we won’t judge! I promise.”

Dr Coomer gave both Tommy and Gordon an assuring nod from where he was piling the VR suit pieces for the time being. 

Gordon hiccuped, eyes watering and his good hand reaching up to rub his eyes. He was shaking in earnest now, hip pressed against the cool tiles of a nearby wall. 

He knew he was absolutely overwhelmed with everything right now, but the cool temperature on his skin and his friends’ calm assurances would ground him enough in the moment to get the situation at hand over and done with. 

\- - -

Bubby and Benrey were sitting in what could loosely be described as Gordon’s living room, feelings of worry and unease hanging in the air… accompanied by their equivalent colours in Sweet Voice.

Darnold was keeping an eye on them from the corner of his eye, while accepting the VR suit pieces through the slightly opened door from Coomer. While he was happy to be finally out of Black Mesa, the price of having hurt Gordon in some way or the other was laying heavy on most of the members of the Science Team, as far as he could tell. 

He himself had a mental note to apologize to Gordon for the shock he had given him with the effects of his potion. While it ended up being a helpful tool in the end, Darnold was sure that the initial shock must have been far from miniscule. 

The mixologist gave Sunkist’s head a gentle pat as the giant dog pushed past him into the bathroom, seemingly having decided to guard Gordon as Dr Coomer and Tommy eventually exited with the remaining VR suit parts in their arms. 

He could only hope that with combined efforts they’d be able to help with Gordon’s healing process… no matter how long it would take.

\- - -

Gordon felt as if he hadn’t showered in weeks. The smell on him wasn’t as bad as he had feared… but this was less about getting rid of the smell. 

He wanted to get rid of the remnants of fear. The memories of pain. Yes, it had been a simulation - and not even a very realistic looking one at that - but it had felt real. 

The best comparison his exhausted brain could come up with, was how the first Pokémon games on the Game Boy Colour had looked compared to how they had looked in his imagination as a child. Caves had depth, fields of grass had texture and he could almost feel the wind when the small flower sprites moved.

The Resonance Cascade Simulation had been just like that for him. The coldness of the corridors, the dust in the mountains on the surface… the heartbeat of the caves on Xen.

Gordon shook his head like a wet dog, sending water droplets all over the place, as he was standing in his bathtub, letting the hot water calm his muscles and thoughts. 

Eventually, he turned off the faucet and sat down in the tub, the water layer stopping almost over his shoulders as he pulled his knees close to his chest. 

He watched the water ripple with every droplet that fell from his hair.

If it wasn’t for his missing hand, he would have sworn that he’d deal with the memories of the simulation with semi-ease. Even with the fact that he currently had a band of unhuman misfits in his apartment!

He lifted his stump and looked closer at the wound. His mind didn’t quite have the attention span it sometimes needed around other people, but now that he was on his own (aside from Sunkist having curled up on the floor in front of the tub) - he could take his time to form coherent thoughts.

It became apparent that someone with the capability of speaking Sweet Voice had cocooned his wound to keep it from getting infected. Not to mention the fact that the blue layer of it on his stump subdued some of the pain that Gordon should actually be feeling.

Had it been Benrey? Sunkist? Tommy or Dr Coomer? Did Bubby have the ability to do it and just decided to not share that fact with him before? Possible.

Well, he’d just thank the whole group and let whoever did it take the compliment. But not right now. Right now, Gordon leaned back in the tub, head resting against cool tiles and letting his limbs soak in the calming warmth of the clear water around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it was apparent in the previous chapters that Gordon was absolutely in "this might as well happen"-mode, still fueled by adrenaline and feelings of confusion. 
> 
> As he’ll slowly ground himself in reality once more (as weird as it might turn out to be in future chapters), you can expect him to have longer conversations with the whole team. :>


	5. Reality Check

It took Gordon a while to return to the others. For one, he always kind of zoned out for a bit when having a bath… and additionally, the reality of what had happened to him in the past few hours (or days? He wasn’t entirely sure and that unnerved him to no end-) had slowly started to sink in as well. 

Zoning in and out of what was his reality now screwed heavily with his perception of the passage of time… and if getting his leg stuck while trying to slip into his comfort PJs and almost falling on his face added a few extra minutes… then that was between him and his checkered bathroom mat.

He rubbed the fabric of his dark floral-print pants between his thumb and pointer finger. It was a comfort thing. Always had been. Just something to help him stay in the moment with the help of adding the sense of touch when everything else was a tad clouded. 

His still very much wounded arm was pressed lightly against his chest, the smooth fabric of the worn Nine-Inch-Nails shirt adding another layer of comfort to his current self-care choices. 

Gordon hoped the Science Team would not question his comfort outfit… too much. It was just what he needed right now, as silly as the combo of rose-patterned pants & band merch might be.

His long hair was a mess as well. Yes, he had managed to get it clean and untangled most of the messy strands… but man, it was apparent that he needed to fix his undercut sometime. Right now though, he’d just have to deal with the state of his messy (and now also very fluffy post-hand-dryer) mane. Being able to run his fingers through it again and fluffing it up a bit further in the process... was a very nice thing though.

Gordon didn’t really look at anyone when he exited the bathroom and made his way to the couch- only to settle down on the floor, his back leaning against the front of the couch. He leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling. 

“Do you- Do you feel a bit better now, G-Gordon?”, he heard Tommy ask from a few feet away. Gordon managed a soft smile and a nod in affirmation. 

“I… yeah, I do. I am exhausted to all hell and back but… yeah. I think I’m actually _here._.. if that makes sense. Don't feel as removed anymore. So… uh… thanks. Everyone.”

He lifted his head carefully, giving himself the time to catch a glimpse of each Science Team member in the room. G-Man must still be around as well, as the man’s ominous briefcase was still leaning against a nearby wall.

The silence that followed was not one of comfort, Gordon could tell. There was an aura of unease and worry in the air. Even from Benrey, who had been seemingly calm previously. 

“Guys, I… I still have a lot of questions, not gonna lie. But… first I do want to thank whoever sweetvoice’d my stump. I… I don’t know how to react to my arm actually being gone and frankly….. I am actually freaking out slowly but surely… but still… thanks. Hurts less and all that.”

Gordon jumped a bit as a high pitched noise escaped Benrey, followed by a hiccup and the guard trying to sink further into the bean chair he was sitting in.

“Dude, you don’t have to swallow your Sweet Voice around here. I am way past freaking out about it, believe me.”, Gordon assured him, followed by a short laugh- “It’s actually nice. And helpful. I can fully admit that now, honestly.”

Benrey let out an orb of pink Sweet Voice at that.

“Glad it- that it helps, man. Wasn’t sure if it would... now that we’re all here in... uh, in person.”

Gordon lifted his injured arm carefully, looking the wound over.

“I still have no idea how it works… but yeah, it does help a lot. Again, thanks.”

“Welcome.”

…

Another moment of awkward silence was beginning to start when Bubby suddenly stood up-

“Can we stop with the sulking? Seriously?! We’re OUT! FINALLY! We should be going outside and having the time of our lives-”

“Uh-”, Gordon suddenly looked very alarmed-

“-steal a car! Go on a real goddamn road trip-”

“Bubby-”

“What?!”, the tall man almost hissed out, immediately regretting raising his voice as Gordon curled up a bit into himself at the noise- “M-My apologies. But you get my point, don’t you?!”

Gordon nodded at that, despite shaking a bit. 

“I absolutely do! Hearing that you guys were legit locked up for god-knows how long… I would want nothing more than wanting to go outside and explore this world if I’d be in your shoes! It’s just... how aware are you guys of what has been going on on the surface for the past 10 years? Do you… do you guys even know what year it actually is?”

Tommy perked up at that-

“It’s 2020! Not all of us had a good grasp on time, but my dad and I do!”

“Me as well, Gordon!”, Dr Coomer added with a smile- “As much as we as a group had our jokes about Wikipedia, it was basically our only window to the world outside for a very long time. So thanks to it we do know about a lot of things… in theory.”

Gordon let out a short sigh of relief. 

“O-Okay, that’s actually good to know- I mean, it sucks that that was all you guys had! But… at least we don’t have to start on nothing.”

“We’ll be perfectly fine dealing with the outside world, thank you very much!”, Bubby threw in, arms crossed.

Dr Coomer reached over and put a hand on Bubby's shoulder-

“Bubby, dear, I can still see us getting overwhelmed with it though. It might not be all new for me, but it is for you! And for Benrey as well. Do trust me that we all need to take this slow.”

Gordon slowly sat up, actually deciding to move up onto the couch, pulling one of his legs under him while stretching the other out.

“Guys… if you want, you all can stay here as long as you want.”, he said, earning himself a collection of surprised looks from everyone- “I know my place is small but… you saved my ass. I want to at least try to even that out by letting you stay for as long as you need.”

He ran his intact hand through his hair again, a few strands falling over his right eye.

“And I know G-Man said not to worry about what Black Mesa might do with you all on the loose now… but honestly, I will sleep better knowing you all are closeby and not in imminent danger. Call me selfish, but I’ve grown to like you guys. And I do care for your chaotic asses.”

Gordon went on, grateful for the patient silence the team graced him with at the moment-

“I need to be upfront about this and not bottle this shit up, so let me be absolutely clear: The shit that happened in the simulation? I do not hold that against any of you. Knowing the context of that whole thing… yeah, it was horrid, not gonna lie- but we all ran on fumes… b-but it was also kinda… cool?”, he added with a nervous chuckle.

“Like, how you all tweaked the code in small ways? It added up to such a chaotic mess that was hella stressful… but really fun to experience too? Like- Benrey!”

“Huh whu-?!”, the guard in question sat up in the beanbag, eyes wide.

“Your no-clipping for bits? Your entire goddamn boss fight?! It was terrifying and So. Fucking. COOL!”, Gordon explained, wildly motioning around with his intact hand and then looking at the others in the room one after the other- “Look, I didn’t really know what you guys’ deal was, along with this being a professional job, so I didn’t really get to talk about all the stuff I get excited about but MAN!!”

The entire gang turned at the sudden sound of a low chuckle coming from the doorframe to the kitchen. G-Man was leaning against it, a soft smile on his lips. 

“I… am glad that it wasn’t as traumatizing for you as it could have been, Mister Freeman. I take it, you are quite comfortable with the themes you saw in the simulation, yes?”

He motioned at the walls of Gordon’s living room, causing the man in question to blush and curl up a bit into himself. The Science Team exchanged a few confused glances before taking the opportunity to actually take in Gordon’s apartment properly. 

“Look guys, I-”, Gordon started in a slightly defensive tone, before suddenly getting stopped by Benrey’s hand on his chest. Gordon snapped his head up, staring at the guard- whose whole attention was focused entirely on taking in the apartment's aesthetic. 

The furniture around them was a wild collection of thrifted items. Wear and tear showed on the dark wooden table and on the clunky shelves on the walls. 

Several big moving boxes sat in the corners, stacked on top of each other. It looked as if they hadn’t been moved in months, as if Gordon had not bothered opening them after moving into the place whenever ago.

The couch, beanbag chair and the two additional armchairs had several patches messily stitched onto them. A dresser to the side had been painted with various spray paints… and had a ton of smaller tags written on it with dripping pens at some point. 

All this was the base… but what left the team staring with wide eyes were the small decorations of the place. The walls were absolutely plastered with band posters. And not the kind they would have expected from Gordon-

Countless of them had hard-to-read fonts on them, flames, lightning… and the number of bones and skeletons were honestly a bit overwhelming. Especially to Benrey, who was now letting out a constant stream of excited-sounding Sweet Voice.

The skeleton theme actually continued with the other decorations around the room as well. Several different skull-themed items sat on the shelves, really putting the room together. And not cheap-looking stuff either! Some of them had a metal finish, others were carved out of wood and a rather big amethyst skull divided Gordon’s decently-sized DVD and Video Game collection.

There was what could only be described as faux-taxidermy all over the place as well. Small bottles labelled with things like “void eyes” and “dragon blood” instantly drew Darnold’s attention.

Dr Coomer ended up walking up to the wall-mounted dragon head with a colour-changing skull in its mouth and just gave it an approving nod.

Bubby, however, was still scanning the band posters until-  
  
“GORDON?!”

“Y-Yeah? Wha-”

“YOU PLAY ELECTRIC BASS??? AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME?”

Gordon grinned and got up, walking over to where Bubby was standing. 

“Oh yeah! That’s my old Fender! Haven’t touched that babe in a good while… probably needs a bit of re-tuning, now that I think about it...”

Bubby shot him a look-

“I repeat: you play e-bass???”

Gordon let out a warm laugh.

“Yeah! Sometimes guitar too, electric and acoustic. Just haven’t really had a reason to in a while.”

A pained expression suddenly appeared on Gordon’s face.  
  
“Not like I will again anytime soon, you know?”, he added, lifting his stump.

Bubby waved him off. 

“Oh please. Harold told you he has a plan to get that “fixed”. Trust him on that. He doesn’t break his promises. And his work is extremely high-quality and responsive. You will be able to play again with no issue.”

Before Gordon could reply to that, he suddenly felt a hand on his healthy arm, only to find Dr Coomer right beside him.

“Indeed, Gordon! You will have a proper prosthetic arm in no time! Well… I hate to admit that the entire process will probably take at least a full week.”

“Oh! T-That’s still extremely fast! I… I don’t even know how to thank you for that, Dr Coomer. Do you need any specific tools? I think my computer building tools should be around here somewhere-”, Gordon rambled on, only to be stopped by Coomer’s laugh. 

“Oh Gordon, don’t worry! I’ll be able to find everything I need with ease! Most of it I already have! I plan on stripping your VR Suit for parts, you see!”, the older scientist explained to him- “You go sit down and let yourself relax and heal. Which is something that needs to happen before I can even think about fitting the prosthetic properly to your arm anyway! I am sure Benrey’s Heal Beam will be of much-needed assistance with that in the following days!”

A loud “HELL YEEEEAH” was heard from the other side of the room.

Gordon chuckled.

“Alright then- uh…. Do you guys want some snacks and get comfy? I think I still have-”

“Mister Freeman… I took it upon me... to get that covered. I hope you don’t mind too much.”

G-Man walked into the living room with a big baking dish and wearing Gordon’s flame-print oven mitts.

“G, my good man, you will never hear me complaining about such perfectly baked Mac’n’Cheese- oh shit, is that sliced ham in there too?”, Gordon stared at the perfectly brown cheese layer on top- “… yeah, you are allowed and encouraged to cook whatever and whenever you feel like it while you’re in my four walls, holy shit.”

“Ah… thank you for the high praise Mister Freeman, but-”

Gordon shot G-Man an unimpressed look, which startled the taller man a bit-

“Alright, Rule Numero Uno of Hotel Gordon: You **will** be complimented here and you **will** take it. That goes for everyone here. Yeah, sometimes we will get salty over things, as we have before… but guys, here comes a fun IRL fact about me: I am aggressively supportive.”

“G-Gordon, I am not sure that is needed-”, Tommy stammered out, only for him to slightly freeze as Gordon turned towards him with an intense stare-

“Oh? Wanna test me? Think I won’t say that I still deeply appreciate how you selflessly dragged my sorry ass along when I was too weak to walk on my own? That you had my back in ways that I will be in debt for until the end of my life? You sure??? Absolutely sure?”, Gordon said, grinning and pointing a finger at Tommy… who was now hiding his face behind his hands, letting out a soft “buuuuuuh” sound, followed by a flustered laugh.

Gordon looked at all of the Science Team with an affectionate glint in his eyes. It felt so good to actually be himself around this chaotic bundle of people he learned to care for so deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gordon's e-bass is this beauty: https://www.coda-music.com/fender-american-ultra-precision-bass-rosewood-fingerboard-ultraburst.html
> 
> This acoustic guitar will make an appearance at a later date. ;>


	6. Stargazing into Reality

If the other members of the Science Team would have been awake, they would have told Gordon to "go the fuck to sleep".

But here he was, standing on his balcony, leaning against the concrete railing and staring into the night. 

It was still the same day as his and the Science Team’s arrival at his apartment. The same day of their escape from Black Mesa and… well, Gordon still didn’t know enough to be sure that that was actually all they ran from.

He didn’t want to bluntly force more information out of them, no matter how lightly most of them had seemed to have taken their new-found freedom. 

People were good at not talking about things that cause them pain. 

He should know, he had done it only a few hours ago.

It had been almost too easy for him to deflect the team’s worries and draw their attention towards the more positive things he took away from the entire simulation experience. 

Had it been healthy for him to not admit he was hurting? No. But at the moment it seemed better to just pretend that no harm had been done. Couldn’t they have just one day of blissful ignorance of what had happened?

The comfort of the make-believe almost casual get-together with friends was nice… but it wouldn’t last long. Gordon would have to face his new reality, as would the rest of the Science Team.

He scratched at his injured arm absentmindedly. The damage had been done… and the healing process had to start eventually. Physically and mentally.

Gordon felt himself shiver slightly, despite having brought his soft blanket outside with him. Maybe it was the lingering anxiety and the remnants of adrenalin; he wasn’t sure. After all, his expertise was programming and theoretical physics - not psychology, chemistry and how these two influenced with human biology. 

He was suddenly pulled out of his long-winded thoughts by the sound of the door to the balcony gently opening behind him. 

Turning his head, he found Dr Coomer and Bubby joining him in staring at the night sky.

The silence that settled between them was comfortable, the draining thoughts in Gordon’s head getting replaced by a content low buzz as he slowly became more aware of the sounds around him.

Trees softly moving in the wind. The noises of cars driving by below them. A crow cawing in the distance… and the gentle sound of drizzling rain drumming on the roof above Gordon’s apartment.

“... it is… truly something else to see everything being so... real.”

Bubby was now leaning against the railing just like Gordon was, but his hands were occupied with gently tapping on the concrete, even when he didn’t take his eyes off the stars in the sky.

Dr Coomer hummed in agreement beside them, following Bubby’s gaze.

“Agreed. Neither photos nor videos did any of this justice…”

“Neither of you ever got to see the real world like this, right?”, Gordon asked.

Dr Coomer nodded.

“As I told you before, Gordon… I am the only true AI in our group of friends. Black Mesa was quite adamant of not giving me the opportunity to leave the premises. I will admit, I had seen glimpses of the real world occasionally… but those got wildly overshadowed by the amount of media I managed to get access to.”

“And I was fortunate enough to see a few things Harold got his hands on. It wasn’t much, but I’ll always treasure it.”, Bubby added, earning a soft smile from Dr Coomer.

Gordon pondered for a moment, letting their words sink in and trying to choose his words carefully-

“Well… now you two don’t have to sneak in new secret experiences for each other anymore. The world is out there for you to explore and experience! No worries of being found out anymore… and no more Black Mesa.”

“No more Black Mesa.”, Bubby agreed.

“No more Black Mesa.”, Dr Coomer echoed.

Silence spread for a while once more with the three of them just taking in the night and no pressure to keep a conversation going.

“Sleep doesn’t come as easy to you than it comes to the rest of us, does it, Gordon?”, Dr Coomer suddenly asked. 

Gordon blinked at that. 

“Well...”

Looking back into his apartment, he thought it over.

Despite their very energetic natures, all members of the Science Team had conked out shortly after the impromptu late-night dinner. 

Even Benrey, who had claimed previously that he didn’t need any sleep, had sunken further into the bean chair and was gracing the others in the room with the softest snoring noise any of them had ever heard.

To his own surprise, Gordon found it quite calming. 

Well, really, the entire current situation was. 

No one had really spoken up about sleeping arrangements… but in the end, they didn’t have to. They all knew that everyone would only be able to rest if they were huddled closely together for the night’s rest, just like they did during the simulation.

It had become apparent that everyone had actually scooted even closer to each other than they ever had before, while also taking full advantage of the extra pillows, blankets and two guest mattresses on the floor that everyone had helped drag into the living room. 

Dr Coomer and Bubby had been previously fast asleep on the couch, wrapped in blankets and holding onto each other. Tommy, Darnold and Sunkist were still curled up on the mattresses among pillows and blankets, with Benrey on the bean chair between them and the couch. Gman had nodded off in one of the armchairs on the other side of the table in the middle, arms crossed, head slightly leaning to the side. 

Looking over the peacefully resting forms of his friends, Gordon smiled softly. 

He had the suspicion that none of them had known true rest and safety in a long time, as he recalled everyone’s words on their imprisonment in Black Mesa. 

Which… truly seemed to have been just that. Imprisonment. 

Gordon didn’t know enough yet to understand what that entailed… but he knew what prolonged stress and exhaustion did to people. And frankly… all of them showed clear signs of each, even if most of them were not human.

Maybe with time, they’d lessen. 

Gordon closed his eyes for a moment, focusing on the feeling of the blanket around him and the wind messing slightly with his long hair.

He jumped, eyes wide open, as he suddenly realized that he had absentmindedly started to scratch on his arm again. His wounded arm.

He had managed to keep his old habit of scratching at wounds under control when everyone had been awake… but now it proved to be more difficult. 

Furrowing his brows, he stared at the arm - his unharmed hand running over the skin and applying pressure to soothe the strained muscles somewhat.

He hadn’t asked before, but he had a suspicion why one person from the simulation was missing. 

“... Gordon?”

Gordon was startled out of his thoughts once more, blinking himself a bit more awake and focused. He was instantly faced with the worried and guilty look on Dr Coomer’s face.

“We’re going to get Forzen for taking your arm. That’s a promise.”, Bubby said with clear determination in voice, brows furrowed as he continued to stare into the night.

“So… it _**was**_ Forzen who took m-my arm...”, Gordon managed to force out..

Dr Coomer gave Gordon a nod. 

“He had favoured working for Black Mesa as part of their “military”, despite being in the same boat as all of us.”

Gordon remained silent, letting Dr Coomer talk, while he himself focused on listening.

“I can not hold it against him. All of us have done things we regret with the slight hope of escaping-”

“Dr Coomer, I don’t hold the clones against you-”

“You should, Gordon. No matter the reason behind my desperation... it was cruel of me. Nothing I could say validates my choice of attempting to harm you for a minuscule glimpse at freedom.”

“...”

“What I can say though wholeheartedly, is that I am sorry. You promised to get us out from the start… and I didn’t believe you. I was a fool. I think… all of us were at different times. We had never met someone who kept their selfless promises, you see...”

Dr Coomer wrung his hands in thought.

“Maybe that’s why Forzen didn’t even consider questioning harming you for Black Mesa’s sake.”

“For Black Mesa’s sake? But-”

Bubby turned his head towards them, squinting slightly-

“Didn’t you listen? The military in the simulation belonged to Black Mesa. Of course, everything the military did would be orchestrated by them. Though… I will take the blame for letting you get into harm's way like that in the first place. Not fully! But… you know...”

Gordon watched as Dr Coomer reached out to hold one of Bubby’s hands.   
He let out a sigh.

“I… I get it. And thank you for saying that, Bubby. That actually means a lot to me -”

Bubby nodded, but once again avoided looking at Gordon directly. 

“- I guess it does all come down to you all not trusting me… which… yeah, absolutely makes sense. I don’t think I would have trusted a random programmer dude either, had I been in your situation...”

Gordon pulled his blanket tighter around himself. 

“... I am just… like I said, I don’t mind all the shit I saw in the simulation that much… but what happened to my fucking arm? That- that... ”, he stammered out, feeling his grip on his stump tighten once more- “That… hurts. It terrifies me. I had a lot of injuries in my life but… this t-takes the fucking cake. E-Even if I am not in pain right now, thanks to the layer of Sweet Voice on it...”

“But my mention of sleep stands. You do need to rest regardless, Gordon. Now even more so than before”, Dr Coomer tried to reason, resting a hand on Gordon’s shoulder- “I hate to be somewhat overbearing with insisting on this but I worry about your wellbeing. We all do.”

Gordon felt Bubby’s free hand rest on his other shoulder mere seconds later.

“At least lay down and rest your fucking eyes, dingus. We’ll still be there when you wake up. And… I will not roll you off your spot like a barrel to wake you up... I promise.”, the scientist said, an awkward but apologetic look on his face.

Despite the heavy topics of the past few minutes, Gordon let out a deep chuckle. 

“Don’t think I won’t ever do it again though! I will have you know that I absolutely will not resist the urge, once you’re back to your normal health levels! Everyone needs to get vibe-checked from time to time!”, Bubby stated and gave Gordon a last gentle pat on the shoulder before opening the balcony door for the three of them.

Having Bubby walk ahead to help him to his previous spot on his armchair, while Dr Coomer had a hand on Gordon’s back to keep him steady - it filled Gordon’s heart with a warm feeling of safety.

Maybe all that mattered right now, was that his friends actively tried to make things right, one small step after another... on their collective way to healing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was working on this chapter for while and… I had the feeling that one thought my readers had so far was-
> 
> “It’s a bit weird that Gordon said that he isn’t affected at all by what happened during the ResCas, but since it was just a simulation in this AU it does make sense in a way.”
> 
> And I was just sitting here, like…
> 
> Who said Gordon was telling the truth about that? 
> 
> :)
> 
> \- - -
> 
> ALSO! Yes, it's the Science Team's turn to return all the times Gordon put a hand on their shoulders during the ResCas! <3
> 
> The Science Team: "We realized what your way of showing care & love is. Let us return those gestures while we help you heal."  
> Gordon (internally): *CRYING CAT MEME WITH HEART EMOJIS AND SPEEDLINES AROUND IT*


	7. Between Pancakes and Digital Islands

Gordon slowly came back to consciousness after several hours of dreamless sleep, searching for his glasses around him with barely opened eyes. 

He felt his sore muscles protest, screaming at him to just lay still on the futon beside Tommy, Darnold and Sunkist… and honestly, that sounded very inviting. 

His hand finally found his glasses and he put them on with a slightly shaky hand.

Yeah, at this point there was no denying that his body was slowly catching up with the stress, now that he was no longer in imminent danger.

He propped himself slowly up with his intact arm, letting himself wake up at a casual pace as he looked around the room, checking on his new roommates. 

Tommy, Darnold and Sunkist were still out cold, cosy among kicked-off blankets and pillows, Tommy snoring away softly as he laid there, limbs spread out like a starfish and Sunkist curled up at his side.

Darold was laying half on top of Tommy, one arm resting gently on the man’s chest, his breathing calm and even. 

Gordon tilted his head at them, smiling. The domesticity of the whole situation was a relief to his nerves. That, and Tommy and Darnold just looked absolutely adorable like this. Gordon shook his head, chuckling at himself and slowly got up to his feet.

“Yo, you up!”

Gordon, to his own surprise, didn’t jump at the noise of Benrey’s voice. What did catch him by surprise though, was where the voice was coming from-

“Yeah, Gordon's up… and you… uh… you’re okay up there?”

Benrey was sitting on top of Gordon’s storage closet, looking up from something in his hands.

“Yeah. Cool cosy watch spot. Got a pillow up here and everything--”

Squinting up with his still tired eyes, Gordon finally made out the thing Benrey was now showing to him.

“Is that my Nintendo Switch?”

“Whuh? Nah, that’s mine.”

“Benrey… just don’t delete my save files, okay?”

“...It’s really not yours, bro. Here, looksie-”

With that, he bent down, showing Gordon… an extremely scratched-up Switch with several glittery Lisa-Frank stickers on the back. Huh. 

“Oh... Sorry, man. I really thought-”

Benrey just waved him off and leaned back up, his back resting against the wall above the closet.

“All good. Wanna have my friend code?”

Gordon thought it over. While he still felt a smidge of unease around Benrey… well, it couldn’t hurt trying to bond over video games with the guy while they were all living in Gordon’s apartment for the time being. 

“Yeah, sure! Just want to check on everyone and get some breakfast ready before I do anything else. You… uh, stay cosy up… there?”

“Will do, Gordo.”, Benrey assured him, giving him a mock salute. 

Gordon let out a snort at the sight and slowly made his way to the kitchen to check on the remaining members of the Science Team… and Tommy’s dad. 

“Hello, Gordon!”

Gordon yawned and gave the trio at his small kitchen table an apologetic smile. 

“Mornin’. Sorry, am still exhausted as fuck… you all good though? Sleep-wise and all that?”

“Better than any night at Black Mesa… but Let me tell you- you sound like a damn foghorn when you snore!”, Bubby teased with a smirk, his feet resting on the table and his arms behind his head.

Gordon turned red at that.

“It’s n-not that bad!”

“Oh, it absolutely was, my good bitch!”, Coomer assured him with a smile- “But in a way we could all appreciate!”

“It was almost… like a small concert, Mr Freeman. Between you, Tommy and... Benrey.”, G-Man added, smirking a bit before he took a sip from the mug in his hand.

Gordon blinked at the sight of the mug, his thought process derailed from thinking about his snore habits back to what he wanted to do the kitchen in the first place-

“Oh shit! Breakfast! Do I even-”

“I took it upon myself to refill your kitchen with… appropriate nutrients. If you… stand by wanting to house everyone for a while, I assumed it would make the first few days easier on you.” said G-Man, setting his mug down.

“Y-Yeah… it- it absolutely does! Thanks, man!”, Gordon let out a flustered chuckle.

“I do want to... let you know though that I will not remain here. While I… appreciate your eager hospitality… I have... business to take care of. Regarding the state of Black Mesa… and what my employers were able to assess since our departure from the facility yesterday. I… do not like being “out of the loop”, so to speak. ”

G-Man reached down the side of his chair and pulled his suitcase up, setting it on the table and opening it, facing it away from everyone but himself. He pulled out a few papers and handed them to Gordon. 

“While I am gone… for the time being… do give this to Tommy. He will know what to do with it.”

Gordon looked down and scanned the pages, Bubby and Coomer leaning over curiously to catch a glance as well.-

“...”Approval for ”Pocket-Dimension Expansion of Limited Space”? What-”

But when Gordon looked up, G-Man was gone. 

“What a show-off.”, Bubby huffed and crossed his arms. 

“Now Bubby, everyone should be allowed to show off their powers now and then!”, Coomer reminded the man, then stood up- “Now, do you need any assistance with preparing a hearty breakfast, Gordon?”

“Huh?... Oh! Oh yeah!”

Setting the papers on the table, for now, Gordon moved over to the fridge to assess what they had to work with-

“Man… okay, Wow. G-Man didn’t fuck around… Yeah, we can go all out with a proper big breakfast, if you guys want!”

Bubby made his way over to look over Gordon’s shoulder and let out a huff-

“I don’t even know what half of all this junk is, but I guess we have enough to come up with something edible.”

Gordon rolled his eyes at that, reaching inside the fridge to grab a carton of milk and handing it over to Bubby. 

“Less doubting our cooking abilities, more helping me decide what we want to make, jackass.”, He said with a grin, sticking out a tongue at Bubby, then letting out a laugh. 

Coomer beamed instantly at Gordon’s playful retort, while Bubby was standing frozen in place for a second in shock but eventually allowed himself a chuckle.

\- - -

Several minutes later, the trio was joined by Benrey… who admitted outright that the smell from the kitchen had been too good to ignore. 

Gordon puffed up his chest a bit in pride, while he was in the process of frying pancakes… then smirked as an idea came to mind. 

“Hey, Benrey?”

“Yo?”, the guard looked over in slight confusion.

“Wanna see a gamer strat?”

“Whu-”

Gordon lifted the pan from the stovetop, his grip on its handle firm- and made a short forward-backwards movement, angled slightly up- which made the pancake flip in the air before it landed perfectly in Gordon’s pan once more. 

…

There was absolute silence in the kitchen for a moment.

…

“ **YOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!!** ”

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“I didn’t know you were trained in advanced cooking techniques, Gordon!”

Gordon looked over his shoulder with a bright smile.

“I taught myself a bunch of them actually! Mostly from watching friends and family and then trying them on my own until I got them right! In a way… I guess I trained myself for this moment.“, Gordon mused, humming slightly as he adjusted where he was resting his still sensitive stump against his body. 

Before any of the others got a word in, he went on-

“... and for previous moments like this. Ain’t the first time I only had one working hand to work with! I broke this arm so many times in the past, at this point I am almost used to barely using it....”

Gordon finished setting the last pancake on the stack, set the pan down and turned around.

“Still… I am already thankful that you want to make me a prosthetic, Dr Coomer.”

The older scientist pulled Gordon into a gentle side hug.

“Again, it’s the least I can do, Gordon. Bubby also offered his assistance! Not to mention Benrey!”

Gordon blinked and looked over to the two people in question.

“R-Really?”

“Look, we were dumb shits who didn’t know the bastards would pull this bullshit on your physical body. Doesn’t make it better… but you know. Already said my two cents about it last night… but yes, the least I can do is help build a hand that is even better than your original one.”, Bubby said over cutting strawberries and bananas into slices.

Gordon accepted that with a grateful nod before he felt a slight pull on his t-shirt sleeve. Looking down, he was faced with Benrey, hands still holding his Switch and looking anywhere but at Gordon.

“You good, Benrey?”  
  
  
The man before him remained silent, but then lifted his Switch up for Gordon to see.

“Look, please? While I try to pick the right words? ”

“Y-Yeah…? Sure, man…”, Gordon said as he gently took the console from Benrey, leaning it against his stump so he wouldn’t drop it and using his intact hand to move the joystick and push buttons. 

It turned out Benrey was playing “Animal Crossing: New Horizons”. Gordon had the game himself but hadn’t had the time to play it properly between the recurring jobs from Black Mesa and other freelance programming work. 

He looked at the scratched screen, the game already running and the player character, Benrey’s little villager, standing in what appeared to be a huge field of blue windflowers… and trees that had star pieces handing on them. Of course, Benrey would be the type to mod his game. 

While Gordon moved the character through the flowers, occasionally stopping at a few furniture items Benrey had placed- he had a full rainbow squad of monster statues lining the left beach- Benrey began to talk.

“The… uh… the selling you out to the boots thing was a dumb strat. Dummy brain didn’t think anything would happen IRL. Thought it would be a funny moment in the game, ‘cause it would just respawn… but then it didn’t. A-And then Coolatta Senior found you after we got out and-”

Slowly, the blue windflowers made way for pink tulips… only to be followed up by orange roses. A sea of them stretching over the island… this must have taken Benrey hours to create...

“- you know I like being an ass. it’s FUN! But only when… w-when we can laugh about it? And we can’t laugh about this… so… shit’s fucked. You don’t gotta be all like “I don’t hold that shit against you”. I know you already said that but… uh… I’m still sorry. Was real shitty of me… so I’m gonna help the doc’s with your new hand.”

Finally, Gordon reached the end of the island, where he found two big star pieces sitting in the sand… with a sign behind them, reading- [> Restart?].

He looked up, brows slightly furrowed. After a moment of silence, he set the console gently down on the table. 

Benrey looked increasingly nervous, until-

“Benrey.”

“y-yeah, what’s up, br- HURGH!”

Gordon had pulled the slightly smaller man into the tightest hug he could muster and Benrey positively melted into the touch, wrapping his arms around Gordon carefully in return. He got an assuring squeeze and found the confidence to give a slight squeeze back, relieved Sweet Voice spilling freely out of his mouth, earning him a few chuckles from Coomer and Bubby in the background.

Gordon eventually pulled back, his hand remaining on Benrey’s shoulder, said man instantly hiccuping out a bright pink orb at how the taller man was looking at him. 

Benrey had never been good at reading human expressions… but whatever Gordon’s face was doing, it made him feel warm and safe inside. 

“Alright, you one-of-a-kind cryptic bastard-”

Gordon took a step back and extended his hand towards Benrey. 

“Gordon Martini Freeman. Human. Graduated MIT with a doctorate in Theoretical Physics and currently a Freelance Programmer.”

Benrey didn’t even hesitate a millisecond as he grabbed Gordon’s hand-

“Benrey Lover. Xenian. Black Mesa Security Guard and now...uh... full-time gamer?”

Gordon smiled brightly at him.

“Nice to meet you, Benrey.”

Benrey nodded, a hint of what could be described as their first proper smile on their lips.

“Samesies, Gordon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bubby: Yeah all that lovey-dovey shit is cute and all but- Benrey’s last name is “LOVER?????   
> Coomer: Don’t forget about Gordon’s middle name!   
> Bubby: I WISH I COULD!


	8. A Lecture on Trespassers

Gordon had to admit that it had been a while since he organized such a big breakfast. It brought his years at MIT back to mind where he and his roommates somehow collectively managed to keep each other on their feet, food included.

But his worries over the possible mediocrity of what he, Dr Coomer and Bubby might have created - with him being the only one who had actual physical experience with cooking - went right out the window when he saw the looks of amazement and gratefulness at the table.

Despite having said that he needed neither sleep nor food, Benrey had stacked his plate with a bit of everything that had been brought on the table. If he had been any other person, Gordon would have been concerned. But it was likely that everyone at the table either hadn’t had a proper meal in quite a while or had never had the chance to have one before.

So when Benrey was carefully layering a pancake with ham, a fried egg, cheese and peanut butter, Gordon just watched with a soft amused smile. 

Meanwhile, Tommy was losing his mind over the concept of Nutella-Banana toast.

“I-I can’t believe I missed out on this! They never had anything like this at the Black Mesa cafeteria!”

Gordon chuckled.

“Doesn’t surprise me, bud. But now you can have that every day if you want.”, he added with an assuring smile.

Tommy nodded in excitement, already in the process of making another Nutella-covered toast, exchanging his left-over banana slices for Darnold’s strawberries.

Darnold added the banana to his honey wheat cereal in thought, then looked up to meet Gordon’s gaze.

“Apologies in advance for prying, Gordon… but I do have a question, If you don’t mind.”

Gordon blinked over the edge of his mug, cutting the sip of hot cacao short.

“Sure, man! What’s up?”

“Well… I recalled your reaction from last night when Bubby talked about exploring the world outside. You seemed… alarmed. Why?”

Gordon set his mug down, brows furrowed as he looked at his plate. He figured he’d have to tell the Science Team about the outside world eventually...

“It isn’t as safe as you’d think, guys.”

“No place is ‘safe’, Gordon.”, Bubby scoffed while cutting his omelette into bite-sized pieces.

“I am aware, but this is… simulation levels of ‘not safe’.”, Gordon clarified.

“What do you mean, Gordon? D-Do you guys had natural disasters recently? We understand! We can deal with stuff like that! No worries-”, Tommy threw in, but Gordon held up his hand. 

“Let me… go get my laptop. I need you guys to know what’s going on.”

With that said, Gordon got up and went into his bedroom, missing the confused glances the Science Team exchanged among each other. 

When he returned, Gordon set up his projector and plugged the connection cable into his laptop. He let out a sigh, then opened a folder on his desktop.

“Alright, welcome to class 101 of ‘Gordon explains what the fuck has been going on on Earth that shit’s fucked up outside’...”, he said, adjusting his glasses and getting into lecture mode. 

He watched as the Science Team huddled closer to each other at the table, curiously looking at the projection on the wall… but still keeping at it with the breakfast. Gordon smiled softly before reminding himself of what he was doing. 

“... August 10th, 2013. San Francisco. We thought it was a 7.1 earthquake at first. Bad enough to begin with… but then the video feeds and photos got to the news...”

The Science Team watched with high attention as Gordon opened up a video file of a news recording. 

The Golden Gate bridge was swinging dangerously in clear view- until the camera focused on something else.

Something huge. 

Something absolutely massive. 

What emerged from the waters could only be described as a leviathan of a monster. It tore the bridge down with ease and almost instantly made its way towards the city, dragging itself through the water completely unphased by the military attacking it with comparably small aerial strikes. 

“We called it “Trespasser” since it was the first of its kind we were forced to face.”, Gordon added, his voice sounding heavy with memories.

The video ended and Gordon turned back, facing his friends. 

Tommy had his hands covering his mouth in shock, Darnold was holding Sunkist oh-so-gently with horror in his eyes, Bubby was clawing at the table as he stared with wide eyes and even Dr Coomer sat there with concern in his face. 

The last person Gordon expected to be shocked by this though, was Benrey, who looked positively mortified. 

“Dude, w-what the FUCK?”, he managed to stutter out.

“Y-You say it was the ‘first”? There were m-more?!”, Tommy asked.

Gordon just nodded at that. 

“The next one arrived 6 months later in Manila-”

“Six months… that was barely time to rebuild the other city...”, Dr Coomer mused, more to himself than to the others.

“Then came another one 4 months later in Cabo San Lucas-”

“They were arriving faster???”, Bubby exclaimed with horror.

Gordon nodded, pulling up pictures after pictures, playing videos to put emphasis on the seriousness of the whole ordeal. 

“It was a disaster… We faced smaller ones than Trespasser occasionally… but the big ones got even bigger over time. We faced several each year until only recently. As you can imagine, Earth is still very much damaged in a lot of places because of this. Some areas are completely uninhabitable because of the acidic and poisonous nature of the Kaiju remains-”

Benrey almost chocked on a piece of bacon-

“You guys called them ‘Kaiju’??? Like, uh- Godzilla? Big Lizard???”

Gordon let out a soft chuckle.

“Yeah… one of the lead scientists behind the research of these beasts is a massive nerd. At first, he only called them that at work to differentiate the samples he got… then the names actually stuck over time in the official reports.”

Coomer raised his hand.

“Gordon, how did humanity fight these beasts? It looks like the military was once again absolutely useless!”

Gordon clicked through his files, looking positively excited to show off whatever humanity's defence system had been- 

“So, uhm, before I click play… basically humanity got together and formed the Pan-Pacific Defense Corps or PPDC for short. Within the PPDC was the research division… and that included the scientists and engineers who worked on these-”

What the team saw next in the projection, made several of them gasp in excitement and astonishment.

The video showed a dragon-like kaiju getting absolutely wrecked by what could only be described as a massive robot.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME???”, Bubby exclaimed.

“Yooooo, what the fuuuuuuuck, man...”, Benrey added, holding his head in his hands, eyes still glued to the projection.

“This… h-how-”, stammered Darnold, staring in awe.

“Oh, that is quite the fine work of robotics, Gordon! Very sturdy by the looks of it!”, Dr Coomer observed, giving an approving nod, “So you used these to defeat the kaiju in one-on-one fights?”

“Well, if we could, we had more Jaeger facing one Kaiju- and yes, my nerd buddy at the PPDC also named the class of the robots.”, Gordon clarified with a chuckle. 

Tommy perked up at that.

“That man is your friend, Gordon? Can we meet him?”

“Well, I haven’t talked to Newton in quite some time… and not with Hermann either… I could e-mail them and ask where they’re stationed so we could meet and catch up? Heh… yeah, I should do that. Newt especially would love you guys!”

Meanwhile, Bubby leaned back in his chair, arms crossed and glaring at the images still being projected.

“So… the reason it’s dangerous outside is that these things could pop up anywhere at any moment?”, he asked.

Gordon made a so-so motion with his hand. 

“Not quite. The Breach, that’s what we called the portal to their world, was closed not too long ago… but we still deal with the damages and the toxic kaiju remains...”

Gordon pulled up a photo of an entire coastline glowing in an unnatural blue in broad daylight. 

“We call this ‘Kaiju Blue’... the closest comparison I could make is that it’s… like acidic oil-like blood. Basically don’t get near any of this at any point. Compared to it, the Green Sludge back in Black Mesa was just a glow-in-the-dark kiwi slushie.”

That comment earned Gordon a few chuckles and amused huffs.

“But yes… this is the main reason I want you all to be careful when we go outside. The PPDC still studies what the fuck this stuff can do to a human body… and I don’t want to find out what it might do to you guys. Just… no slurping the toxic alien juice, please?”, Gordon pleaded.

To his surprise, the team gave him assuring nods.

“Gordon, normally I would say that you’d be a party pooper… but since we’re all new to this terrifying information, be assured that we will listen. After all, you’re now the specialist!”, Dr Coomer said with a smile.

Gordon’s tense shoulders relaxed at the reassurance. This was a welcome change from what he had been used to from the Science Team in the simulation.

“Thanks, guys. I… I know this is a lot to take in- and please take your time to process it! - but I just… I needed you guys to be aware.”

“Oh, it’s alright, Gordon! I-I think it will slowly sink in over a few days, right guys?”, Tommy asked, turning to the others at the table.

“I’m already done processing… but we need your laptop for more research, Gordon. I want to know more details on that whole disaster before I take even one step outside.”, Bubby muttered before sipping on his now cold coffee.

“Of course! And don’t be afraid to ask me about anything, related or unrelated to all this! Honestly, the more I can help with you guys being prepared for the outside world, the better I feel about our whole situation.”

Gordon turned off the projector for the time being and sat back down at the table.

“And, uh… thank you all for listening and letting me explain? I’m not used to that from you guys… but yeah, thanks.”, he said with a weak but grateful smile.

Darnold reached over, putting a hand on his shoulder, while his other hand was still gently petting Sunkist. 

“Hey, know that we’ll always listen to you from now on. The simulation was one thing… but this is reality. I think I speak for everyone when I say that while bantering with you is álways fun, we won’t push your buttons to a frustrating level anymore. Especially while you’re still recovering.”

Gordon simply nodded at that, playing with the rim of his shirt. 

Suddenly, he stood up once more, startling Darnold slightly.

“Gordon, a-are you okay?”, the mixologist asked.

Gordon nodded, looking quite serious all of the sudden.

“I… I want you guys to meet someone.”

Benrey visibly perked up.

“Oh shit!- is it son time? Haven’t seen him around so… uh… road trip to go see Gordon Jr?”

“I can’t wait to meet your son, Gordon!”, Dr Coomer chimed in.

“W-Well, we don’t need to go anywhere to meet him… uhm… give me a second, I just need to go get my closet key-”

“CLOSET KEY???”, gasped Tommy in shock.

“TOMMY, DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT IT WILL MAKE SENSE IN A SECOND I SWEAR!”, Gordon yelled back while he was scrambling to find his keys.

The entire team watched in a mix of judgement, curiosity and excitement as Gordon unlocked the storage closet that Benrey had sat on top of earlier that morning. 

They saw his anxious expression completely melt away to make way for a loving gaze as he pulled out something orb-shaped from within the closet depths.

A sleepy chirp-like sound suddenly emerged from what Gordon was holding.

“Hey… ‘morning, bud. Dad’s finally back home...”, Gordon said with the most gentle voice any of the Science Team members had ever heard him speak with.

Another chirp, this time a bit louder-

“....dad? DAD! YOU’RE BACK!!!!”

Suddenly the orb-shaped object launched itself out of Gordon’s arms and flew in rapid circles around him, making the man laugh. He reached out and pulled the orb out of the air, hugging it close. 

“I am! Hey, uhm… dad brought some friends over. They are really excited to meet you. Do you want to go say hello to them?”, he asked gently. 

The Science Team watched in anticipation as Gordon walked back to the table, arms wrapped protectively around something that was as big as volley-ball.

Tommy gasped softly as he leaned over to get a better look.

A small screen on the orb slowly came into view, displaying a curious little face consisting of numbers and symbols. 

Two appendages, seemingly constructed in part out of computer mice, pulled the small being further up as it looked warily over Gordon’s arm at the Science Team.

Gordon smiled proudly at the display of mutual curiosity. 

“Everyone… meet Joshua.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those of you who follow me on Tumblr have seen this coming a mile away- but yes!  
> The Metalhead Gordon AU takes place in the same universe as 'Pacific Rim'! (With slight timeline adjustments to cut the crew some slack.)
> 
> Will this be more than just a source for funny Gordon-and-Newt-as-former-friends-moments?
> 
> :)
> 
> But more importantly: IT'S JOSHUA TIME!!!


	9. Quality Time with your Orb-Shaped Child

“When you told us all about this… “Kaiju Invasion”, a huge part of me was hoping you were just bullshitting us.”

Gordon looked away from keeping an eye on Joshua zooming around the table for the past few minutes, his focus landing on Bubby who had moved back to the couch, Gordon’s laptop on the table in front of him and scrolling through news articles.

“I wish, man... I really wish.”, Gordon said with a weak smile.

If he was honest with himself, there were a lot of things Gordon would feel comfortable and justified to make jokes about to most members of the Science Team. But he knew his own limits. 

He truly wished he could have welcomed the Science Team to a safer world… but it was not like he had a different one to pick from. 

However, despite everything this world had thrown at him, he was happy to be alive and be around people he deeply cared for. No matter how chaotic they and the world around them were.

“Well, at least he didn’t bullshit us about having a son!”, Dr Coomer exclaimed, currently gently holding the small robot in question in his hands.

“Yeah bro, but what’s with the shitty photo of him in your Digi-locker, tho? Little dude ain’t looking anything like it.”, Benrey threw in, letting out an amused huff at Joshua loudly counting each piece of metal on Coomer’s Extendo-Arms. 

Gordon let out a sigh, rubbing his temples with the side of his hands, lightly pushing up his glasses in the process-

“The thing is, I built and programmed him myself, but his body is made from old Black Mesa computer parts. I was... always afraid of them finding out that he existed and claiming ownership over him… but at the same time I really loved talking about the progress he was making? Small things he was learning, not dissimilar to how a human child would… so I figured that the stock picture in my files would work just fine.”

Benrey tilted his head at that, but eventually leaned back, crossing his arms and nodding to himself. 

“Gordon Freeman Protective Dad moments.”, he added.

Gordon laughed at that.

“Honestly? Yeah… I also need to add that his AI isn’t… stable. Or flawless for that matter. I am a good programmer and Joshie is a fast learner… but we have reached several roadblocks over the years. They don’t matter to us, because I love him - little glitches and all - and I hope you guys will as well-”

His heartfelt speech was suddenly interrupted by what could only be described as the crunchiest mp3 file of a foghorn noise recording… which was coming straight out of Joshua’s speakers.

“Holy Shit… wow!”, Tommy exclaimed, ears still covered protectively by his hands from the sudden noise.

“Gordon! Your son is so talented!”, Dr Coomer said with a smile, not taking his eyes off the small robot in his hands- “You have a loud voice for being such a small man, Joshua!”

Joshua let out a soft happy trilling noise at the praise, lifting out of the old scientist’s hands and flying a loop in the air.

“I can record and replay any sound I hear but the foghorn is my favourite!!”, he informed the group before flying down to the ground to land near Sunkist, happily trilling at the big dog and getting a happy bark as a reply.

Joshua had several features that weren’t quite necessary… but fun. Originally Gordon built Joshua as a simple AI that would keep track of a lot of things he lost track of, either because of his ADHD or how hectic things could get at MIT.

The bot would alert him when assignments were due when Gordon had last eaten something, asked if he had taken his meds and reminded him to drink water.

When eventually the Kaiju started to erupt from the ocean, Joshua got a receiver for global warning messages, becoming a reliable news source for Gordon and the other people in his dorm.

These basic functions stayed, but Gordon had always loved adding new lines of code that would end up giving Joshua more of a personality. Even now, he was already thinking about what he could teach Joshua to make interacting with the Science Team more fun for the small robot.

He relayed all that to the group between finishing his hot chocolate.

“If Joshua and you would allow us, we all could teach him a new thing or two, Gordon!”, Dr Coomer eventually said, after being deep in thought for a bit- “I would love to share my knowledge with someone who is so eager to learn and has the same capabilities as I, as a fellow AI!”

“DAD! Can he?? Please??”, Joshua pleaded with excitement in his voice.

How could Gordon say No to that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joshua Time continues! With a short chapter for once... but I felt like that was needed after the block of text that was the last one. :>


	10. Sweet Beans

The digital clock on the wall said 4:36 PM. 

Gordon was laying on the futons in the living room, limbs lazily stretched out and staring at the ceiling. Most members of the Science Team were currently preparing dinner in the kitchen, supervised by Joshua.

The past few days had been... certainly something. It felt like he had attempted speedrunning several different things at the same time because there was an unsettling feeling of time running out fast for _something_ if he didn't. 

He knew that was his anxiety. The feeling of too little time for anything, his thoughts running 88 miles per hour, sending him down rabbit holes of thoughts and worries.  Especially, since his last job for Black Mesa had him mess up his medication schedule during his time in the simulation. He was slowly getting back to what he considered his personal normal state... and it was honestly a relief. 

Gordon turned his head to the side, acknowledging Benrey, who was sitting beside him on a pillow, Gordon's injured arm gently laying on his open palms as he was applying a new layer of healing sweetvoice to it. 

His arm was significantly better now. Still sensitive to touch, but all in all healing. Though he had to admit that the scars that had been forming in the process were... unique. 

The edge of where the mess started was more akin to what he had expected - lighter coloured slightly bumpy lines & patches where the skin had been damaged. 

But the area where it had been an open wound? That's where it looked... unusual. It looked like a protective layer of flesh & skin had formed where it shouldn't have without a proper surgery. The skin there was just as light as the scarring on the edge... but it felt new. Sensitive. And a certain amount of weird because... well, this simply wasn't what a human body would do on its own during a healing process.

Then again... his body had been getting help with the whole thing-

Gordon closed his eyes and let out a soft hum, almost harmonizing with Benrey holding a steady note beside him, as the cool sweetvoice hit his arm. 

He hadn't really had the time to ponder over the fact that he was sharing his apartment with several non-humans... but laying on a comfy futon, having to hold still and wait for Benrey to be done sweetvoicing at him - yeah, that sounded like a good time as any.

Well, until he noticed that Benrey stopped singing. He opened one eye, seeing Benrey looking at him with a questioning look on his face, his head slightly tilted to the left.

"Yo, you gonna space out on me with 'em big thoughts?", Benrey asked.

Gordon chuckled at that. 

"I told you once and I'll tell you again - your sweetvoice is good. Helpful and... just really relaxing. Helps my brain shut up about the painful shit and lets me focus on things I actually want to think about. Can't help it, my dude.", he said with a shrug and a soft smile.

"Huh.", was all Benrey said, keeping eye contact with Gordon.

The human in question blinked up at the guard.

"If you want... I can tell you my thoughts while you do... uh... the healing thing? No need to reply to me, just... I don't know, me rambling for a bit?"

Now it was Benrey's turn to blink - and to Gordon's surprise similarly to a lizard, an eye-lid-like part of eyes closing over them sideways.

"... that's so fucking cool...", Gordon whispered in awe, staring at Benrey with wide eyes.

"Whu- What?"

"The thing your eyes do when you blink! I... I guess I was never close enough to actually notice it. It just looks cool, is all I'm saying."

"W-Wow, Gordon Flirtman here trying to butter me up with the compliments?"

Despite his quick retort, Benrey visibly turned a shade darker and averted his eyes, letting out a few pink orbs of sweetvoice before returning to the healing teal.

Gordon let out an amused huff, resting his free arm behind his head and looking back at the ceiling.

"Look, I just appreciate all the cool non-human things you and the others can do. I... I don't know how much of it was just part of the simulation and what you can do now that you're free again... but it's simply exciting to me!"

He heard a slightly deeper-pitched tone coming from Benrey, somehow making him feel like it was okay to continue talking.

"So many terrifying things crawled out of the Breach over the past years... all with the goal to destroy and to conquer. The Kaiju and every other creature related to them were all I had for reference for non-human beings for a long time. Aside from Joshua, of course, but you get what I mean."

Benrey let out a few notes that sounded similar to a soft "Uh-huh". 

Gordon continued. 

"But as scary as you guys think you are... and as you can be-"

Gordon turned his head towards Benrey once more.

"- Thank you for being you. Silly, obnoxious, chaotic and kind. And for showing me that not everything you can find beyond portals and in shady labs is something I should fear forever. That I needed to learn to listen and learn, again. To understand. To actually be the kind of scientist I always wanted to be."

They sat there for a while, Benrey laser-focused on Gordon's arm, a few stray orbs of sweetvoice remaining in the air between them as he eventually closed his mouth.

"I did a good... thing? By being- uh, me?", Benrey eventually stuttered out, still gently holding Gordon's arm in his hands. 

Gordon nodded.

"No one told you to apologize to me after everything - even when I told you not to worry- but you did so anyway and on your own accord. Not to mention you are actively helping me heal physically since the moment you guys found me."

He reached over, resting his hand on Benrey's knee.

"You may not be human, Benrey... but you are a person who tries to make up for the things they fucked up. And that's a good thing, in my book."

Benrey's brows were furrowed as he slowly nodded.

"I'm.... n-not a bad guy? All the time?"

"You're a menace with Gremlin energy at worst, at this point."

That made Benrey snort, Gordon laughing softly in return. 

"Uh, feed me snacks 24/7 and I'll be the greatest cool!", Benrey added with a grin.

"That's not how Gremlins work!", Gordon wheezed, moving his hand and pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to keep himself from breaking out into loud laughter.

"Only got the energy, bro. Am not small or fuzzy... right now."

Gordon slowly sat up, intrigued by the implications of those last two words. He opted to sit cross-legged, radiating curiosity and excitement as his hand was drumming away on his thigh.

"Shapeshifting... Shapeshifting!! Okay, okay! Tell me when I get too personal with my questions but... uh... you can change your appearance not just in size? Holy shit man, that's... that's WILD!"

Benrey stared at Gordon with wide eyes for a second, taken off-guard by the man's excitement for his more out-there powers. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously - something he had observed Gordon doing sometimes and added to his own mannerisms. 

"Yeah, uh, character creation ain't perma-locked. Can access that anytime I want. Makes me tired when I do it too much... but it's cool.", he said, then looking somewhat unsure- "Would you... be a big cool with me doing that? Around here? SMALL WAYS! N-No big Benny. Just... feel comfy here. To do that, I mean."

Gordon smiled at that, reaching over to place a hand on Benrey's shoulder. 

"Dude, as long as you don't go full horror and accidentally scare the shit out of any of us, go ahead. I don't know... what you have in mind with "small ways"... but I am curious, so... go ham."

"You sure? Is right now okay?"

"Uh... if you want, yeah!"

Gordon was about to remove his hand to give Benrey some space, but within the blink of an eye Benrey's hands looked... almost paw-like. His fingertips ended in dull claws, while the skin on his hands had a slight gradient to them, reminding Gordon of the ever-present shadow on Benrey's face. He let out a soft gasp-

"Holy SHIT?!- Let me see?? Can I touch them?"

"Huh? Ain't nothing fancy, but sure."

Gordon mirrored Benrey's previous gentleness with his arm as he now carefully took one of Benrey's hands (paws?) in his own.

"Wow...", Gordon breathed, slowly turning it over-

"HOLY FUCK YOU HAVE BEANS????? PAW BEANS?"

Benrey let out a crackle at that but nodded. 

"Sometimes, 'cause it makes stuff easier. Climbing and holding shit and all that. Got that perfect gamer grip."

"..."

Benrey tilted his head at Gordon's sudden silence. 

"Uh... ?"

Gordon looked up from staring at Benrey's hand, the biggest smirk on his face. 

"So... you got paw beans."

"Y-Yeah?"

"Which means you also have toe beans-"

"What you talking about Feetm-"

"Beanrey."

"Wha-"

"BEANREY!"

"NO!", Benrey exclaimed through already starting to laugh, as Gordon fell back on the futon wheezing, barely managing out a "YES!" in reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Their continuous shouting of "BEANREY!!" and "FEETMAN!!" eventually made Bubby's dinner souffle's collapse.  
> They did the dishes afterwards to make up for it. :>


	11. A Closet Full of Memories

“Okay, run this by me one more time, so I can be 100% sure this won’t wreck my apartment beyond all recognition.”

Gordon stood beside Tommy, the papers G-Man had given him days prior in his hand.

“W-Well, we just need to find something in your apartment that can be accessed through a door or something similar… a-and then Benrey and I can start working on the pocket dimension inside it! It is completely safe for everything a-and everyone outside of the pocket dimension, I promise!”

Earlier, Tommy had sat down the entire Science Team to explain what the papers were that G-Man had given to Gordon a few days prior.

As it was clear that their entire group that they only felt safe when all of them were in close proximity to each other, so finding a way to have them all live comfortably closeby was really the only option that could work for them in the long run. 

Apparently, in G-Man’s mind, that meant that some part of Gordon’s apartment would become the entryway to pocket space. Which in turn would basically be an extension of the apartment where the other members of the Science Team could create rooms and spaces as they pleased.

“So… if something goes haywire in there, like an explosion-”

“- it wouldn’t affect your apartment!”, Tommy confirmed.

Gordon ran his hand through his hair in thought. This… didn’t seem like a too bad idea in all honesty, but he couldn’t help worry about the Science Team’s track record of somehow even turning the best ideas into pure chaos. 

Eventually, he sighed and gave Tommy a nod, giving the papers to him and putting his hand on the taller man’s shoulder for emphasis.

“Alright. I will trust you with this. Just… please make sure it’s absolutely safe for everyone? And my apartment walls? This is drywall, man, not Black Mesa’s  _ almost  _ laser-proof tiles.”

Tommy beamed at him, bouncing on his heels in excitement-

“I will not only make sure this is OSHA-approved but also Science Team proved!”

Gordon smiled softly up at him, patting his shoulder gently-

“Tommy, you’re a godsend. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without you, bud.”

  
  


A quick search for a fitting area later, they decided that Gordon’s storage closet would be the best option. 

For one, it wouldn’t look suspicious to his landlord. Additionally, should they ever decide to move elsewhere, they could simply take the closet with them and avoid whatever having to “de-install” a pocket dimension entailed.

The only thing they had to do at this point was simply emptying out the closet before they got to work.

Gordon carefully opened the doors and assessed the situation with a hum and furrowed brows. There were some things he would have to find new places for… and a lot of stuff he’d probably just bring to nearby thrift stores and the local Goodwill.

He almost jumped as he felt Benrey lift his arm and poke his head through under it to catch a glimpse at the closet contents as well.

“Oh, nosey much?”, Gordon asked with a smirk, looking down at the guard.

“Gotta make sure you don’t- uh, steal anything.”

“From my own closet?”

“Yeah, ‘cause that looks like quality loot to me. Lots of mystery boxes. Minecraft Lucky Blocks.”, Benrey said with a nod.

“Oh, those? That’s mainly stuff from my MIT days. Lecture folders and all that-”

Gordon pushed the leather jackets and winter coats on the rack aside to give Benrey a better view and access as he motioned at him to help him carry the boxes into the living room. 

“- but I guess there’s also a lot of B.V.R. stuff in here too...”, Gordon added.

Darnold, who was currently watering Gordon’s (only slightly) neglected house plants, turned towards them with a questioning look on his face. He quickly walked over to where Benrey placed the stack of boxes on the floor, the plants forgotten for now.   
  


“B.V.R…? What does that stand for?”, he asked.

Gordon smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Remember when I said that I didn’t really get to tell you guys much about my interests during the simulation? Well… uh, this is one of them. The biggest, honestly...”

Benrey picked up the box on the top of the stack and looked it over. It appeared to be an old and worn shoe box. It was covered in what seemed to be stickers of band logos he had seen around the apartment already… aside from the ones that read “BVR” and-

“...”Black… Velvet Rabbits”...”, he read off the box. Suddenly, it was if someone had finally figured out which way the battery went into his brain to activate a thought process, as he connected the dots. 

Gordon liked music, judging by all the countless band posters on the walls, even if he had yet to share what their tunes sounded like. 

Gordon could play different types of guitars. 

Gordon also had said that he hadn’t played on any of them “in a while”.

And now this old box was exclusively covered in band stickers-

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Benrey's head snapped up un-naturally fast to stare at Gordon with wide eyes. 

“Yoooo… Gordo was in a band? Gordon... Musicman?”, he whispered out in a slightly unbelieving tone.

Before Gordon could even attempt a reply, Bubby yelled from his spot on the couch-

“WHAT?! NO! Now you’re just bullshitting us!”

“That would be several big boxes full of bullshit, dear!”, Dr Coomer countered as he looked at the stack in question from the doorframe to the kitchen.

“What are we yelling about?”, Tommy threw in as he opened the door to the balcony from the outside, looking in with Sunkist and a peacefully sleeping Joshua in his free arm.

Gordon let out a nervous chuckle at the entire scene-

“My band-past, apparently.”

He then ran a hand through his hair, fluffing it up and ruffling through his slightly out-grown undercut to psyche himself up-

“ALRIGHT! Time to dive right into this, I guess. Let me open these...”

It took a box cutter and several backseat comments on how to open a taped box properly, but eventually, Gordon managed to get each of the six boxes open.    
  
He attempted to open the one covered in band stickers as carefully as possible, but as he pulled the lid open, several old polaroids and concert tickets fell out regardless. He silently cursed himself for having absolutely overstuffed the thing with memorabilia in the past. 

He picked up one of the photos carefully, while the Science Team got closer to him to look at the other contents with high interest. 

Bubby pulled out two seemingly hand-printed t-shirts. The print on each depicted a simplified front-facing head of a rabbit with ear piercings, lightning bolts at the side... and under all that calligraphy-like font reading “Black Velvet Rabbits”.

Meanwhile, Darnold was intently scanning the concert tickets. A good chunk of them were from big and small cities in America, but there were also a few European ones. Berlin specifically popped up several times. 

Tommy and Dr Coomer were fascinated by the amount of seemingly random tiny items in the bottom of the box - Safety pins of varying sizes, bottle caps, empty lighters with sharpie writings on them, an ungodly amount of mismatched guitar picks, a pair of plush cubes, numerous cassette tapes and CDs, two pocket knives, patches, buttons, several pieces of steel jewellery… and a tooth??? 

While that was happening, Benrey had carefully picked up each of the polaroids that had tumbled out of the box. 

Looking at them, he could make out that they were probably taken at concerts. Several of them were blurry either due to poor lighting conditions or the photographer moving… or both.

Some were of several people in dimly lit backstage areas… others of the same people in other spots, smiling, laughing, hanging out with food and drinks… and playing and tuning their respective instruments.

Benrey counted at least four people… plus the person he couldn’t mistake for anyone else.

He looked up from the polaroids in his hands and over to the one Gordon was still staring at.

On that one, standing on a small stage, tightly gripping a guitar and leaning into the microphone as he seemingly yelled into it… was Gordon. A slightly younger Gordon, but unmistakenly the man beside him.

He leaned over more to get a better look, his helmet bumping gently against Gordon’s arm in the process.

Most of what wasn’t completely in-focus was blurry... but Benrey could still make out the shine of a leather jacket, leather pants, heavy boots… and oh FUCK- okay, he was absolutely staring at this photo like a cat high on catnip now but he could not give two shits - the hair. Long and curly and 100% a sidecut that had been dyed an obnoxious orange. There was a shine of snake-bite piercings… and the hint of more piercings on the visible ear.

Gordon shifted slightly beside him, smiling at the photo.

“I think I still have most of the piercings… somewhere in these boxes. Black Mesa didn’t like seeing me wearing any to work, but you know… we’re not going back there anytime, so…”

Benrey needed to say something. Anything. 

He had no idea what, but this was worth so many words-

“Awooga.”

Gordon instantly let out a sudden loud laugh, followed by a wheeze as he bent slightly over, holding his stomach-

“Really?? “A-Awooga”??”, he asked in disbelief, yet still smiling.

“Yeah, dude. Like… uh.. uuuuh...”, Benrey started, but it seemed like he couldn’t quite figure out how to exactly end his sentence. A stream of pink Sweet Voice escaped him before he quickly covered his mouth with his hands.

Gordon chuckled at that and patted Benrey’s helmet.

“‘s all good, man.”

He looked over to the rest of the Science Team, blinking in surprise as he saw that Tommy and Dr Coomer had picked out the cassette tapes and CDs and placed them on the table.

  
“Would you mind if we listened to some of your old tunes, Gordon?”, Dr Coomer asked as he held up one of the CDs. That specific one was labelled “First Band Practices with the Rabbits - 2012”.

“As long as no one comments about my inability to grow a proper beard back then-”

“You tried anyway, didn’t you?”, Bubby asked with a smirk.

Gordon inhaled deeply, looking contemplative for a second before replying-

“Look... I had only been on T for about 2 years when we founded BVR. This-”, he pointed at his current full beard- “- takes time.”

“A-And for some people it doesn’t get easier over time either, Bubby! That’s why I personally stay clean-shaven!”, Tommy added with a nod before he looked over to Gordon with a bright smile. 

Gordon looked at Tommy with surprise, but quickly beamed and tapped his hand rapidly against his thigh in excitement.

“YOOOOO!!! NO WAY!!”, he exclaimed.

“Yes way!”, Tommy confirmed, followed by a soft giggle.

Darnold raised his hand with a shy smile. 

“Same hat.”

Coomer stood up a bit straighter, patting Gordon on the back.

“Gordon, you’ll find that no one in our group of friends falls under the label of “cisgender”!”

“Yup.”, Benrey added, popping the “P” loudly- “You’re good. Not gonna pick on the stuff your body was still getting a hang of. Your tunes though? Those are gonna get the full, uh, the full IGN rating.”

Gordon let out a soft breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“You know what? Yeah, put that in the stereo! You can also help me sort through… well, all  _ this _ .”, he said with a chuckle, looking down to the remaining boxes beside him.

Looking back up, Gordon saw that each member of the Science Team was fiddling with one or two smaller items from the shoe box. He let out a short amused huff as he smiled at the scene before him.

“Oh, and If you find anything you like, you can keep it! That also goes for the leather jackets-”

Gordon barely moved fast enough to avoid Bubby as he scrambled to get to the closet first, closely followed by Benrey.

Gordon called after them with a laugh-

“OH MY GOD! THERE ARE ENOUGH FOR EACH OF YOU AND THEN SOME, YOU HEATHENS!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So far, you peeps only got glimpses at Gordon's band past, but here we go for real this time!   
> Only took me like 9 chapters. :'D


	12. Turning up the Volume

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Gordon is singing in this chapter is "I Hate to Dance" by Mustasch! [Click here to listen to it!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBOZpOMJ5-g)
> 
> PS: The alternative title for this chapter: "Gordon Goes Apeshit In A Healthy Way!! YEAH!! >:D"

It was always something else to hear how your voice sounded like to everyone but yourself.

Gordon had been used to it for a long time, mostly thanks to the years he recorded music with his band, but seeing his new friends react to his recorded songs made him pause a bit in thought.

When he and Newton had founded “Black Velvet Rabbits” together, both of their voices were still in the middle of their second puberty. Uneven, scratchy at times… and by far not as resilient as they wanted them to be.

That didn’t mean it stopped either of them from putting their heart and soul into every song they played. It made their first few tapes rough to listen to, but Gordon felt a huge amount of fondness for them regardless. 

All their frustration with their lives, the school system, society, their bodies, their struggles with ADHD and BPD respectively- it all went into their music. 

It was the sound of desperately struggling youths doing anything they could in their limited power to be heard.

Gordon was well aware that some of their former bandmates thought back to BVR and rolled their eyes at their gigs and “rockstar dreams”. He himself though? He was proud. Both of himself and Newton. Proud of having this tangible proof that they got through one of the hardest times of their lives together, doing something that they had put together with no outside help, with no overbearing parental figures forcing them to succeed. They created music because it was the one thing they had complete control over… and it had been absolutely intoxicating and freeing at the same time. 

Even now, as their old recordings played in the background, Gordon found himself gently swaying side to side to the tempo of the tune, humming softly along as he was sorting through the remaining contents of the boxes on the floor.

He looked up from his spot, smiling fondly at Bubby letting out a cry of joy when he recognized another classic rock song that BVR had recorded a cover of. 

“Your band might sound like absolute ass but at least they had taste!”, he exclaimed, drumming happily along to the beat on the floor beside Gordon.

“Yeah… our sound quality wasn’t the greatest until… 2014, I think? ”, Gordon pondered out loud. “You’ll notice the change instantly though! Around that time we also actually figured out in which direction we wanted to take our style as well. Took us a while, I know, but… good things take time!”

Speaking of good things taking time- the construction of the pocket dimension within the storage closet seemed to be going nice and steady by the looks of it. 

Every time the doors opened and Tommy stepped out to take a small break, Gordon couldn’t help trying to catch a glimpse inside, which kept earning him a loud “NO PEAKING!” from Tommy- only for him to hear it echoed by Dr Coomer, Benrey and Joshua seconds later.

When eventually each member of the Science Team joined Tommy to help out with the closet, Gordon let himself be focused on his sorting task, Sunkist laying beside him as his only company for the time being. 

“Guess it’s only the two of us for a bit, huh?”, he said, giving the huge dog a few loving pats on her side. Sunkist let out an affirmative woof and rested her head on Gordon’s thigh, earning a smile from Gordon. 

He resumed swaying along to a new tune starting to play on the stereo, now allowing himself to add a few more subtle movements as well. 

He found himself nodding along to the rhythm, his long wavy hair swaying in a way it hadn’t in a very long time.

As the side of his right foot began to gently tap against the floor as well, Sunkist got up and pushed her head against Gordon’s shoulder. 

Gordon stared at her for a moment, unsure of what she expected him to do, but as the golden retriever started to gently dig into the carpet surprisingly in tune with the beat, something clicked in Gordon’s head.

He scrambled to get up on his feet, laughed as Sunkist let out a happy bark and started running excited circles around him when he started tapping his foot again.

It had been a while… but no one was in the room right now to judge him. And Sunkist, being the perfect and most supportive dog, would never make him feel guilty about any of this.

He looked down to his tapping feet, his hand closed into a fist as he assembles the old courage and opened his mouth-

“♫ I ain't a boring barfly…so please don't get me wrong, oh- Come on! Yeah, come on! I've been saying this for. Far. Too. LooooOO **OONG!!** ♪”

Gordon felt himself smile as he raised his voice, mirroring the energy of the younger version of it coming from the speakers.

As he moved his hips and head in rhythm to the beat of the tune, he leaned down towards Sunkist and decided at the moment that, hey, she might be the best audience he had in years - might as well sing for the best girl!

She positively bounced excitedly around Gordon’s feet as the man himself started to jump along with her and the music-

“♪ I haaaate to disappoint you! I'm not the guy you need- so, feel freeee! You can leeeeave! ‘Cause I'll nEVER SWING LIKE A MONKEY FROM. THE. **TREEEEES**! ♫”

Sunkist let out a loud approving bark at the sound of Gordon letting himself be loud, but this time fully because of joy, nothing like the pained and frustrated yelling he had done all throughout the simulation.

This was how Gordon was supposed to sound like. Loud, happy and confident-

“♪ It’s of great importance! This is what yOU. **ALL.** **SHOULD. DOOOOO** \- ♫”

The possibility of complaining neighbours be damned, Gordon rushed over to this stereo and turned the volume significantly up, still mindful of Sunkist being in the room with him. No matter how perfect Tommy made her, Gordon really didn’t want to accidentally hurt her hearing.

He returned to moving around the living room, his steps becoming confident stomping as he basically had Sunkist follow his path between the furniture at this point. He ran his hand through his hair, letting the majority of it fall over the right side of his head, showing off the remainder of his undercut on the left in the process-

“♫ BANG YOUR HEAD CLEAN OFF, JUST DO IT!! STOMP YOUR FEET AND CLAP YOUR H-HANDS-!! ♪”

He roughly brushed away a barely formed tear from his right eye, opting to stomp his feet in place of clapping his hands to the beat. He wouldn’t let his pain and trauma cut this moment short. Singing had been his outlet for all his frustrations before, why shouldn’t he try and find out if it would still hold up with the new struggles he was facing?

“♫ I AM A HEAVY METAL GROOVER! - BANG YOUR HEAD ‘CAUSE I HATE TO DANCE! **BANG YOUR HEAD ‘CAUSE I HATE TO DANCE!** ♪”

Sunkist affectionately pressed herself against Gordon’s side, sensing the man’s wild mix of emotions running through his head. Gordon opted to give Sunkist’s back a pat to assure her that he was doing okay. That he needed to do this. To let this all out. 

He took a deep breath-

“♪ So take me away from the dance floor- _Nemo saltat sobrius_ \- Well, that's right... fucking right. I've been telling you for far too looooooOO **OONG**! ♫”

He closed his eyes, his focus now only on putting as much emphasis on the words as he could. As he used to. As Gordon Martini Freeman of the “Black Velvet Rabbits” had been known for.

“♫ I haaaate to disappoint you! But I'm not the guy you need- You can leeeeave, ‘cause to meee- DISCO. DIED. IN. **1983**!! ♪”

He spread his arms, his head slightly falling back and his hair following suit… and he could almost feel the comforting heat of spotlights on his skin once more-

“♪ It’s of great importance! This is what yOU. **ALL. SHOULD. DOOOOO!** \- ♫”

He bent back forward, letting himself go off into a poorly executed guitar solo as he headbanged to the beat, his hair flying back and forth, side to side-

“♫ BANG YOUR HEAD CLEAN OFF, JUST DO IT!! STOMP YOUR FEET AND CLAP YOUR HANDS-!! I AM A HEAVY METAL GROOVER! - BANG YOUR HEAD ‘CAUSE I HATE TO DANCE! **BANG YOUR HEAD ‘CAUSE I HATE TO DANCE! - BANG THE HEAD THAT DOESN’T BANG!!~** ♪”

Gordon stood there for a moment, out of breath, hair wild and messy, chest heaving and eyes blown wide. He was only pulled back into reality from his post-rockout brain by Sunkist jumping up on him and licking his face-

“Hahaha!! Yeah, this was fun, wasn’t it, big girl?! Thanks for the encouragement, Sunkist. I mean it. I… really needed that.”

He hugged her close before gently letting her get back on all fours, smiling as she let out a soft bark and pressed herself against his side once more, her tail wagging happily-

“Well, I’ll be damned. Sounds like you don’t sound like ass anymore after all!”

Gordon spun around, instantly locking eyes with Bubby, who was leaning against the frame of the closet, arms crossed and a smug smile on his face.

“H-How much of that did you-”

“I heard enough to know that my eardrums can stand the sound of it.”, Bubby answered, “You don’t sound half bad. Obviously out of practice, but… not awful.”

Gordon scratched the back of his neck, trying to process the rare compliment coming from the older scientist.

“Uh… thanks? A-ANYWAY- how’s the pocket dimension going?”, he quickly added to move the topic elsewhere.

Bubby rolled his eyes at Gordon's obvious deflection.

“It could go way faster in my opinion! But the hallway and the basic rooms are stable now. I won’t invite you in without the others agreeing on it too, but… it’s nice. Having your own space to do with as you please, as barren as it might be at the moment-”

In the time Bubby had spoken, Gordon had walked over to him, now resting his hand on the smaller man’s shoulder.

“Hey, I might not have the biggest savings, but that won’t stop me from helping you guys find stuff for your space, okay? I know a few places we could visit sometime this week! But… first I do want to go shopping with you all to let you pick stuff for your wardrobes!”

Bubby stared up to him, a slightly startled look on his face.

“You’ll… let us… pick?”

Gordon smiled softly, hoping it looked reassuring.

“Of course! As long as you all don’t get me into the reds with your purchases, you are free to pick as many things as you want, now that you all have your own space. Honestly… go wild! Did- Do you think I’d limit you? Bubby, you guys are my friends! If anything, I wholeheartedly encourage you to get lost for hours in the nearby thrift stores and find your own style- HURGH!-

Gordon found himself pulled into a tight hug- which only lasted for two seconds.

As Bubby pulled back, he looked away, brows furrowed.

“Thanks. You- you don’t get how much this means to- ...thank you, Gordon.”

“You’re welcome. Uh… should I go get us some food for when you guys are done or-”

“GOD! YES! Fuck off before this moment gets even more awkward!”, Bubby exclaimed with frustration, a hint of a smile tugging on the edge of his mouth.

Gordon threw up his hand in mock defence, not even trying to hide his grin.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Twitter and Tumblr @ NewtAfterDark !
> 
> You can find already existing posts about this AU (including short fanfics and art) in the "Metalhead Gordon AU" tag on my blog! [CLICK HERE!](https://newtafterdark.tumblr.com/tagged/metalhead-gordon-au)
> 
> Additionally- I made a Spotify playlist for this AU, which I’ll keep updating with more fitting songs over time! [CLICK HERE!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0PdZT9j8oKaXlRHL9CMc9F?si=FVwJ6k2eSBGhk2yQsqlYqQ)
> 
> (These are the kind of tunes that Gordon listens to on repeat... a lot. A nice mix of what he considers “classics” with a bit of early 00s edge sprinkled in, as he still has a soft spot for those songs.)
> 
> If you want more, I also made a playlist for the sound of "Black Velvet Rabbits"! [CLICK HERE!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3SmM0r3KKDnFhenkK0R6Qc?si=V99glEALRyWM9-7C5cSIKQ)


End file.
